Monday, November 14, 2016

Stop being wrong now! (ask me how :-)


So, is it possible to always be right?

I ran a small workshop last week, about being always right...

Goes like this:

To not be wrong you should do one of the three:

  1. Shut up. 
  2. Ask question (that contain no assumed statements)
  3. State only what you are certain of.
Since 1 and 2 are easy, let's focus on #3:

- What are your certain domains of expertise?
- Is there a subject where you are the world expert
- A Subject on which no-one can contradict you...


So, what's your domain of expertise?


- It turns out such a domain exists!

- it is You!

You are the world expert of You.



Hence: To be right, speak only about (your Domain of expertise) Yourself.


Example:
If you say 'I am happy', no-one can say 'You are not'
If you say 'I don't understand', no-one can say 'You do'
If you say 'I think you don't understand', no one can say 'You don't think that...'

Hench, if your sentences are about you, no one can contradict you!

The sentence: 'It is hot' may be contradicted (see air-conditioner fights in the office) by 'No it isn't'
The sentence: 'You are wrong', can be contradicted by 'I'm not'

But how about 'I feel it's hot' or 'It's too hot for me' ?
How about 'I think you are wrong' ?

- This can't be met with 'No it isn't', or 'You don't think that' !!

To sum up:

To be always right, I suggest
you start your sentence (and your mind) by:
-'I feel'
- 'I think'
- 'To my knowledge'
'The way I see it, ...', 
etc.

Bonus: How not to piss me (or anyone) off (or at least less...)

To raise less resistance and conflict
With me or anyone else...
Please don't speak of what you are not an expert of.
(especially if you speak to THE #1 expert of the domain :)



I personally get jumpy and impatient when someone speaks knowingly and decisively about my domain of expertise, so not to piss me (personally) or your peers (theoretically) off, please avoid starting a sentences (that is not a question) by:
  • You don't understand
  • You should do this
  • You shouldn't do that
  • You think that...
  • You are lying
  • The way you should think about it is...    (I've heard a lot of those :)
  • You understand perfectly
  • You don't see the full picture
  • You are not serious
Or even (for the advanced bonus)
  • We should do this
  • We are wrong
  • We are right
... You can try instead the following (and I promise I won't get upset...):

"I think you don't understand"
"I suggest you do this"
 "I think we should decide that"
etc.

======

References:

1. Why you should never assume:

2. Don't tell me what to say, please:
 

3. Only an expert can deal with the problem!



I hope you enjoyed this one... (I sure did! :)

Yours (If you'll have me),

- The Scrum'em bear.




2 comments:

  1. LOL "1 & 2 are easy" đŸ˜‚

    Shutting up and asking questions without assumptions are not easy for me, but I try.

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    Replies
    1. I think Isrealies have 'special needs', I intended the post to normal people ;)

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